Taking care of oneself

I seem to have been learning the hard way about the importance of taking care of myself. I learned a while back (after many a meltdown) that life was just easier/better if I took care of my emotional needs, and I'm good about taking breaks from the kids whenever I can. I feel like I've found a good balance there. And I know that I can do nothing without the Lord, and that I need to walk in close fellowship with Him for anything good to come from my life (though I still have a long way to go on that one).

But my physical needs have always been at the very bottom of the list...and after this weekend I'm starting to think that needs to change somehow. I've been out of commission from a horrible toothache. Totally bummed out that I couldn't enjoy the extra time at home with the family. And mad that if I'd been taking better care of my teeth I wouldn't have been on the couch all day. I have weight to lose, I don't exercise, my hair gets cut about once a year on average, and on and on.

The problem I'm faced with is this: moving my physical needs up the list = moving something(s) down. So which of the important things I'm doing are less important than taking care of my body? What can/should I give up to avoid another disabling toothache (or worse, following in my grandmother's footsteps and dying of a heart attack at 51)? Or, maybe more important, is it really that big of a deal to schedule a few dentist appointments, or get up 20 min. early to go jogging? Put in those terms it seems so easy...and yet here I am.

Ugh.

Happy Monday!

Have I ever mentioned that I LOVE Mondays??? It's the beginning of a new week. Everything returns to "normal" after a busy weekend. I'm rested, I've had some scrapping time recently, and the house is usually in decent shape.

Today is an especially happy Monday because a) it's a gorgeous day here in Bonney Lake, WA, and b) I jogged this morning!! I made the discovery a few weeks back that exercise just isn't going to happen unless I get up at 6, and I've been better about getting to bed early (well, earlier)...exercise is so good for my mood. So is getting up early. I'll have to do it more often.

Anyway, off to make my list for the week! Here's a new one of Mariah...She's almost 3 now. How did I miss that I can add photos to my blog by dragging and dropping? Way easier than the way I'd been doing it.

Parenting = an act of faith

It's been a long time in coming, but I think I'm finally starting to see the role of faith in my parenting:

*I can't save my kids--only God can.
*That means that their becoming the people He wants them to be isn't dependent on my best efforts, but on His work in their life.
*That means that the pressure is off of me to be the perfect mom, and I can love them, teach them, play with them, and RELAX.

Like I said, it's been a long time in coming. And the constant self-doubt and second-guessing is *exhausting*. And a joy-stealer. I am hoping that this realization is a turning point for me in my parenting. And yet, it will not make me a perfect parent. Because that isn't what my kids need. They need to need the Lord.

Deep thoughts for a Wednesday morning, eh? I'll end with a picture. It' s not a perfect picture, but this is the Esther I love:

Got Mother's Day plans?

If you're in the area and you're a scrapbooker, I'll be teaching a "Mom & Me" scrapbooking class at Ben Franklin in Bonney Lake! It's on Saturday, May 13th at 10:30, and I'm so excited about it! I love the project we'll be working on, and I think we'll have a great time!I'm also happy to announce that I won an honorable mention in the recent design team call at Leaving-Memories.com! I'll be a guest designer some time in the next few months, and I'm totally excited. They have great kits, talented designers and a super friendly message board. Stop in and say HI sometime!

In a related vein (sort of), Dan has freelance work coming out his ears! I think he's got 5 different projects going right now. All stuff he's doing evenings & weekends. Crazy. I will say that it's much easier to pick up the slack now that I'm not pregnant and don't have a little baby.

Finally, if any of you has heard of a potty training school that I could send my daughter to until she's fully capable of using the toilet, I'd be willing to pay good money for it. Or even if you'd like to hang out in my bathroom with her. I'm not picky. I just don't want to do this!! I think she'll get it pretty quickly once she figures out the connection between her bodily functions and the potty chair, but that hasn't happened yet. Seriously, I think a potty training boarding school would be a great idea.

Have a happy Wednesday!

Not really a Monty Python fan...

...though I probably could be without too hard of a push. But the guys I hung out with in high school quoted it ad nauseum, so I picked up some stuff by osmosis. And I did see this hilarious sketch about Olympic Hide-and-Seek that wouldn't be nearly as funny if I tried to explain it, so I won't.

Just sharing that so you understand the context for this layout. It's inspired by a song that wouldn't be funny to you if you weren't already familiar with it ("Always look on the bright side of life", since it's small and hard to read), but I was pretty proud of myself. Especially for including the whistling little birdie.

Have a great day!

A pre-mid-life crisis???

Maybe because I'm 30, maybe because I'm tired of being broke all the time, maybe because I read all these professional designer mbs...don't know exactly what the reason is, but I've been thinking more lately about pursuing our goals. I think in the past when Dan and I have talked about his dreams of doing his art full-time, we've said things like "now isn't the right time" and dismissed it. But it hit me the other day that Dan could build his comic book career on his graphic design skills. Now, we're still years away from him being able to quit his job, not to mention that there's no possible way he could put in an 8-hour day at our house. But I think our focus is shifting. We're preparing for the next phase. Thinking about it, saving for it, talking about business plans and marketing and all that good stuff. The American dream, eh?

It used to bug me that I was married to a man that couldn't just work his job, come home, hang out with the family, and be happy with that. But I've come to appreciate his ambitious nature. He always wants bigger and better things. He's driven to achieve, to grow, to chase his dreams. And I've come to love that. I know some marriages where the wife feels the need to be the voice of reality. I want to be the voice of encouragement. To say "you can do this", not "you can't". To be his sail, not his anchor. And he's told me many times that he wouldn't have taken some of the steps he's taken if I hadn't believed in him.

Anyway.

Today's my "day off". Our babysitter comes for a couple hours and I spend the rest of my time at home doing as little as possible. Sometimes I'll pick up a movie at the library to watch in the afternoon. Or I'll scrap. Wednesdays make the rest of my week bearable.

Happy Wednesday to you all as well!

And it comes full circle.

Some of you may know that Dan and I dead set against anything having to do with TV. We didn't own one, didn't watch at friends' houses, I still to this day haven't seen an episode of Friends. I fully expected to live out my days this way.

But then Dan started seeing movies with friends again.

Then when we lived at our church, we would borrow their TV and watch movies.

Then we got a DVD player for our computer.

Then, after 5 years of marriage, we had our first movie date (LOTR Return of the King).

And so it goes. Now we own a TV, we have rabbit ears (no cable) and watch 24 twice a week (Monday + Saturday reruns). The kids watch PBS daily. And it does nag at me some. As much as we limit the content of what they watch, I feel that the act of watching TV is somewhat detrimental. And yet, the time of quiet it gives me every morning makes it so much easier to handle my day.

So it makes me happy to see this:


To some degree, it lost its appeal, and they'd rather draw or color or play outside. They still like to watch it, but they haven't lost their ability to entertain themselves doing things of value.

Hope you all had a great Easter. He is risen indeed!

Wow, has it really been 13 days???

Sheesh. I'm such a blog slacker. Would that be blacker for short? Or slogger?

Hmmm...ok, here's a recap of the last almost 2 weeks.

*Held down the fort while Dan showed his work at the Emerald City Comicon. He got some great feedback from some editors and met many interesting people.
*We had his friend Dusty spend the weekend as well. Any single 30ish girls out there who are looking for a guy who's kind-hearted, sarcastic and a bit off-color, Dusty is definitely the guy for you!
*Took a few much-deserved breaks after doing double overtime while Dan got ready for the Con.
*Weeded my flower beds, planted a few new beauties and some veg seeds.
*Took the kids to the zoo and brought my sis home to spend the night.
*Kids got sick.
*Mowed the lawn.
*Ran out of money.
*Watched my cousin get married.
*Applied for a great design team.
*Taught a card-making class.
*Made a layout for a Mom & Me class on May 13th. If you're in the area, bring your son/daughter, your mom, or any other special person--I'd love to see you there!
*Had a few blissful moments where I was alone in my house and it was clean! There is nothing better than that in the world.

Don't have any deep thoughts about any of those, so I'll end with a song...

Particle man, particle man
Doing the things a particle can
What’s he like? it’s not important
Particle man

Is he a dot, or is he a speck?
When he’s underwater does he get wet?
Or does the water get him instead?
Nobody knows, particle man

Triangle man, triangle man
Triangle man hates particle man
They have a fight, triangle wins
Triangle man

Universe man, universe man
Size of the entire universe man
Usually kind to smaller man
Universe man

He’s got a watch with a minute hand,
Millenium hand and an eon hand
When they meet it’s a happy land
Powerful man, universe man

Person man, person man
Hit on the head with a frying pan
Lives his life in a garbage can
Person man

Is he depressed or is he a mess?
Does he feel totally worthless?
Who came up with person man?
Degraded man, person man

Triangle man, triangle man
Triangle man hates person man
They have a fight, triangle wins
Triangle man

Wow, has it really been 11 days?

Good thing I didn't gripe at my friends who haven't updated their blogs this week! (you know who you are!!!)

Let's see...

{she remembers why she hasn't updated her blog this week}

Being a SAHM, you would think a weekend day without a DH would feel like any other day. But for some reason it doesn't. I don't feel the same pressure to do housework, make food that doesn't come from the freezer, pry the kids away from the TV, etc. I think it's because I feel like it *should* be a day off, even if it isn't. The funny thing is, my Saturdays are usually far more productive than the rest of the week.

So I'll probably head to the store tonight and pick up some frozen food, some diet coke, a new LeapPad pen, and anything else that I can find that's cheap and could provide some entertainment for me or them, and then settle in for a day of scrapping, snacking, tuning out kid noise, and praying for Dan. He'll be at the Emerald City ComiCon showing his work and networking. I'm hoping for an enjoyable and productive weekend for him.

Reflections on a great day....

Normally there is nothing in the world that makes me happy to be awake for 20 hours straight. Yesterday, however, was an exception. I had the opportunity to attend the CK Convention in Portland, and I'll spare you the blow-by-blow, but there were a few highlights that I'm still smiling about today...

• Taking scrapbooking classes isn't really my thing, but as a new teacher I thought it would be really helpful to participate in at least one and watch an experienced teacher work. The class I took, taught by my friend Courtney, was very well done! I picked up a few teaching tricks and now have a beautiful Christmas present for my sister!
• Winning 2nd place in the Simple Scrapbooks page accent layout contest!! SO FUN!! Here is a picture of the winning layout (I'm hoping it's ok to post it!!). It really does look much better IRL--the ribbons and stuff don't look so, well, FLAT.
• Even better than that, though, was getting together with the other Pubsters. It was a truly amazing thing to be congratulated so warmly by other people who get it, some of whom had entered the contest themselves. The way people cheer each other on, celebrate each other's victories, and support each other in the hard times is really, really cool, and I'm blessed to be a part of it.
• Got to have dinner with these ladies, and it was like being with old friends, even though some I'd met for the first time that day. It was great to be able to put a face, a voice, and to some degree a personality with the names and thoughts I'm so familiar with.
• Seeing Gina deserves it's own bullet point!! I've so enjoyed getting to know her better through planning the dinner together, and had a great time hanging out beforehand (win both of our wins were announced!).

Anyway, I'm feeling the aftereffects of the missed sleep, so I'll be on my way!

Happy Friday!!

Today is a great day! I have lots to do to get myself ready for the CK Convention tomorrow and Pub dinner tomorrow night. Also, lots to do to get my family ready for a day of not having Mom around! But it's early, my house is (mostly) clean, my to do list is full of fun things, the kids are parked in front of PBS and will be for a good while...

I have to be careful in moments like this to just enjoy. It's easy when things are calm and going well to feel like I need to go do something unpleasant, or to start thinking about whichever issue is plaguing me (or if there isn't one, to make something up!). So today I think before I get on with my day, I'm going to sit down w/a landscaping book I got from the library and my 3rd cup of coffee, and just enjoy a few quiet moments. :)

You never can tell in the PNW, but its looking like this crazy snow/hail stuff we've had off and on is coming to an end, and spring is on the way! And I'm *totally* excited to do some work in my front yard. And I know myself, that I have until about mid-July before I burn out. Which means I've got 4 months to plan, dig, transplant, amend, fertilize, plant, weed, water and watch. Last year my veggies sprouted and diet, so this year I'm buying starts instead of seeds.

Anyway, better get to doing nothing before one of the kids needs me again. Have a great weekend!

On any given day...

On any given day I wake up to kid noise.
On any given day I check my e-mail, some blogs and a couple message boards while I eat a bowl of cereal and drink (at least) two cups of coffee.
On any given day I sweep the floor, wipe down the dining table and pick up toys and clothes.
On any given day I pray to be the kind of wife and mom God wants me to be.
On any given day I drink at least two glasses of Diet Coke.
On any given day I don't drink enough water.
On any given day I answer a hundred questions from Shiloh, try to get Elijah to calm down, sing the Dora song or the Barney song to Mariah, and rub Eucerin cream all over Esther's body.
On any given day I wonder if my kids are eating well enough, watching too much TV, learning enough, getting away with too much and not being kind enough to each other.
On any given day I change at least 5 diapers.
On any given day I think about scrapbooking, things to do for Ben Franklin, new products to try or techniques to learn, and hope that I get a chance to do more scrap-related stuff than just clean my scrap area.

This post idea was brought to you today by sara*w's blog.

Friday randomness

• Still on my spring cleaning rampage. I don't think I've ever been this into cleaning my house. The cool thing about organizing, though, is that everything *stays* clean longer! Dan is loving it.
• Only 3 days until the next episode of 24! I think I mentioned before that I don't watch TV? All bets were off when Season 5 started. We had just finished Season 4 earlier that week, and I don't think the adrenaline had time to leave our system. We're hooked. We even watch the reruns on Saturday night. Anyway, the previews for this week sounded like they were going to kill off another main character??? It took me all day Tuesday to recover from Edgar's departure.
• Dental work isn't a big deal to me. Paying for it sucks though. A lot.
• PBS buys me at least an hour of peace and quiet every morning.
• Waking up early for dental work also sucks. I can't grasp the fact that it's 10:11am on Friday morning. The whole day just feels kind of off.
• 8 days until the CK Convention in Portland OR! Totally excited to see old and new friends, do some shopping, hit Powell's, etc.

Have a great weekend! I trust that my brain will return to it's normal, semi-functioning state by Monday.

A collaborative effort

Many of you know that my husband Dan is a graphic designer (an excellent one at that!). So I often will ask for his feedback on my pages, and then brace myself for his honest feedback. Unfortunately for me, he's pretty much always right, and unfortunately for him, I'm not working in Photoshop and can't always change what needs changing.

Saturday night I showed him a page I'd been working on. He didn't like the title. I loved the concept though, and couldn't redo the title, so I finished the page. I showed him again and asked him what he thought of the *rest* of the page. Of course he couldn't leave the title alone, and came up with some ideas he was sure would work, and offered to help.

This is what we came up with:

Organization update

Since starting the HGTV challenge, I've:

• analyzed my paper habits (mail, newspapers, catalogs, documents, etc.)
• purged some paper from the filing cabinet
• dealt with a couple piles on the computer table
• copied a bunch of our CDs to the computer and boxed them up to go to the shed
• reorganized our toy area and most of the homeschool area
• purged some old dishes and some toys
• bought a tie and belt hanger, so Dan has some place to put his ties other than 0ur shoe holder thingie (the times he's worn a tie since I've known him I can count on one hand)

I'm feeling pretty good about it, but there's a lot more to do, and of course the problem of keeping everything from returning to it's usual condition...

Ok, off to bed. :)

ORGANIZATION MONTH!!!! at my house

I signed up for the HGTV Get Organized challenge and I am *so there*!!! Every chance I get to get rid of some of the disarray in my life makes me so happy. Because there's so much disarray and because I love looking at a surface with nothing on it.

So I just recycled two inches of paper from my filing cabinet this afternoon, and identified my problem areas and am thinking about how to solve them. I have an envelope for receipts, a goal to go through my inbox before it threatens to topple over every month-and-a-half (thus paying some bills late), and a plan to get one of those message center things with the little trough thingie and hooks for our keys. Which brings me to an important realization...I've never liked those from a decorative standpoint, but I'm realizing I like it better than having Dan's wallet, cell phone, keys and iPod on the counter! (I love you honey!!) Seriously, though, I don't live in a decorating magazine. I have 4 kids and we stay home all day and we homeschool and we have 1100 sq. ft. to do it in. We need something that works, that works for us, and that isn't chaotic.

In short, I'm finding that organization, even at its ugliest, is prettier than clutter.

Tagged again!

Got tagged by *Cat*, my asterisk buddy...

What scrapbook lines/products, etc. do you dislike?

• Cheap cardstock--using the good stuff just seems to bring everything up a notch.
• Anything thick/3-D--I like my pages flat
• I tend to gravitate away from anything pre-made and expensive, though sometimes I'll pick that stuff for my DT work since it doesn't cost me anything! ;)

What is the hardest thing you have ever had to scrap?

• My kids birthday parties are getting to be harder for me to scrap, since I have 3-4 a year!
  

What technique do you use more than anything else?

• Uh...does inking my edges count???
• Lately I've been doing more with acrylic paint.
  

What is the smallest scrap of paper you save?

• It depends on the paper--with my FontWerks paper, no scrap is too small!!
  

Have you ever had any scrapbook related injuries?

• Not unless you count the headache that resulted from my dropping 500 eyelets on the floor, picking them all up, sorting them, putting them back in their container--and then doing it a second time.

Finish this sentence, "If I wasn't a scrapbooker/stamper, I would spend my money on..."

• Probably books--if I didn't scrap, I'd also have time to read!
• Clothes
• House stuff
• Gardening stuff
  

Give us your best storage or organizational idea.

• A clothesline-type curtain rod that hangs in my scrap area where I display my finished LOs. I also tie my ribbon onto it.
• Even better--I have 6 Generations Craft Keeper envelopes that I keep projects in progress in. I have one for classes, one for DT stuff, one for my wedding album...that way it's not all sitting in piles on my scrap area. Also, if I'm feeling so inclined I can plan out 3 or 4 pages at a time and put all the photos and supplies, along with a sketch and journaling in one envelope, I find that it's good for me to take advantage of "idea mode" once I'm there!
  

When you received your first publication/DT notification, who did you tell?

• I called Dan on his way to work, then e-mailed Cat and Sara.

After answering the questions, tag four of your buddies.

• I don't think I know 4 people who haven't answered the questions! :P

In other news...
Esther officially has a milk protein allergy. She's had eczema since she was about 3 months old, and it has been pretty severe at times, but we went to an allergist and the screening test came up negative for 16 different allergens, so I thought it would be something she'd outgrow. But then we started her on cow's milk and within a couple days had nasty diapers, really red cheeks and was grumpy, waking up at night, etc. I stopped the milk and then tried it again a couple weeks later (the first time we'd had a virus going through our family), and got the same results.

So now she's on a soy formula--just at the time I thought we'd be able to switch over to milk and decrease our food budget by $50/mo.! Instead it'll be going up, at least for a while until I get it all figured out....she can't have plain soy milk yet because the fat content isn't high enough. I'm pretty bummed--allergies are so high-maintenance, and I've really appreciated the fact that my kids are fairly easy (when it comes to food/sleep/health issues) since there are so many of them so close together. Ugh.

Update

Since you've all been waiting in breathless anticipation, I thought I'd let you know how I did with my list:

1. prep for birthday card class (did the prep, did the class)
2. clean scrap area (did it when I was waiting for Mariah to fall asleep so I could take a shower)
   
3. take pictures of Elijah and Esther (didn't happen, and now Esther is having eczema issues again, so I'm taking her off milk again and not taking pictures until her cheeks are no longer yucky)
4. make Thank You cards (HAHAHA! Told you that wouldn't happen.)
5. dust (DID IT!! woo-hoo)
6. develop a class concept I've been thinking about (this one is still stewing)
7. gussy up scrap resume (nope, still looks pathetic)
8. get a quote on a truckload of dirt ($120/12 yds., so now Dan and I need to decide if we want to do it now or later)
9. and one other thing (didn't do it, but made some progress with it).

So like I said, the list gets me moving, even if it never gets finished. I'd still like a finished list. But I guess it's good to know that the important things happened. As well as all the daily/weekly necessities that I do without thinking about, and (most importantly) being available to my kiddos.

To Do lists--what's the point?

I swear, I have a notebook full of to do lists. What they have in common is:

• they're all for 1 week at a time
• they all have about half of the items not crossed off
• they also have stuff added throughout the week
• much of what is on them isn't something I'm actually considering doing, it's just something I'd like to do
• did I mention that I never actually complete everything on one?
• some of them have the same thing on them 5 or 6 weeks in a row

Pathetic, I know. We're talking years of incompleted (uncompleted? noncompleted?) lists. Then again, I think I get more done with them than without them. Still, it would be nice to complete one once. I actually will add items after I've already finished them, just so I can have one more crossed off item on my list.

Anyway, this is what's leftover for this week (if anyone's interested):

1. prep for birthday card class (this one's non-negotiable, the class is tomorrow night)
2. clean scrap area (might actually happen, since it's in the dining room and I have to look at it)
   
3. take pictures of Elijah and Esther (this is one of those ones that I don't really have any intention of doing, but I know I should. We celebrated their birthdays this week, which means I have one week to do a photo shoot before I lose "good scrapbooking mom" status.)
4. make Thank You cards (another one that I don't honestly think I'll do. Yes you may send me to etiquettehell.com if you'd like. I suck at manners.)
5. dust (I won't go there)
6. develop a class concept I've been thinking about (this one is still stewing)
7. gussy up scrap resume (pretty pathetic to spend $20 on something that not only says "yes, I have no credentials", but doesn't even look like an effort has been made to doctor it up)
8. get a quote on a truckload of dirt (this might actually happen, if I can make the kids be quiet long enough to make the phone call)(because I really want to get some work done in the yard)(and if I don't do it now, my yard phase will run its course for the year and I'll have to wait until next year to make any gardening progress)
9. and one other thing
   

So there you have it. All the stuff I can't pull off. But that's ok! Because somehow I'll make it through this weekend having taught my class, and the other stuff will either get done or it won't. And if it doesn't, the dust will still be waiting patiently for me Monday morning, all my brilliant scrap ideas will have longer to simmer, Esther will get a 1 year old + 16 days picture, instead of a birthday shot, and the yard will just look unkempt a little longer. Work in progress, eh?

Whistling in the Dark

That was me on Friday, minus the whistling. Those of you who live in the PNW know that we had a *crazy* windstorm late last week, that resulted in Bonney Lake losing power for 15 hours. Which for me meant:

1. no vacuuming
2. no music
3. no internet
4. no light + no TV to occupy kids = no scrapping
5. no oven = no making b-day cake
6. no internet = no finding cheap printouts for the b-day party
7. no heat + drafty house + subfreezing temps outside = spending the night at Mom's

I'm sure you get the point. I'm not big on inconveniences, but when I have a scrapping deadline and a party to plan, they make me especially grumpy! However, the party ended up coming together really well and I had a blast that night at Ben Franklin. So apparently I didn't need anywhere near as much time to plan and prepare as I thought. Go figure. Maybe I should flip the switch on the fuse box every time I'm about to have a busy day and spend it eating fast food and driving around trying to stay warm in the car instead.

Anyway, I'll leave you with these words of wisdom from (who else?) They Might Be Giants:

A man came up to me and said
I’d like to change your mind
By hitting it with a rock, he said,
Though I am not unkind.
We laughed at his little joke
And then I happily walked away
And hit my head on the wall of the jail
Where the two of us live today.

There’s only one thing that I know how to do well
And I’ve often been told that you only can do
What you know how to do well
And that’s be you,
Be what you’re like,
Be like yourself,
And so I’m having a wonderful time
But I’d rather be whistling in the dark